Life on Princess Lane

Wasting Time

2012-02-13T15:57:00.001-06:00

I am enforcing a one week hiatus on myself from any and all Internet activity. The only exception is to pay bills.

Lately I feel like I waste a lot of time reading the news, Pinterest, etc. I wonder how much time I will actually get back and what I will use it for...

So I will leave you with this until next Monday. Gawd I love these girls.

Great Lizard Rescue

2012-02-10T15:54:00.000-06:00

The cold weather is chasing the Anoles into our house. We rescued this one right before Jasper tried to eat him. I had to wipe thick coat of dog slobber off the little guy's back. Hopefully sticking him back outside doesn't kill him...

Top 10 Reasons...I Don't have time

2012-02-09T09:44:00.001-06:00

Top 10 reasons why I don't have time today to think of a witty top 10 post.

1. Mike has been hounding me to get new tires put on my car. I have been waiting until I really got "full" use out of the current ones. I saw this last night. Yep I have worn the rubber completely off and the threading is starting to show. It freaked me out a bit. So I am going to buy tires today.

2. I have a client who has swamped me with a big project. This is awesome but leaves no free time to play blogger.

3. Jasper decided to eat his cone yesterday. Does he not remember this is how we got in this condition to start with? I need to take him to the vet today and have his staples removed before his starts picking at them.

4. My heater under my desk died yesterday. While I am running around town I might as well stop at WalMart and get a new one so my tootsies are nice and toasty.

5. I need printer ink too. I used mine printing Katherine's birthday invitations. I don't need my printer to die while I am wrapping up this project soooo....Electronics aisle at WalMart here I come.

6. My brain is tired. Witty and tired brain just don't work well together.

Soooo that wraps my Top 10 6 for the week.

In other exciting news...I am dying to see The Vow tomorrow night. Mike and the kids are going to watch another movie at the theater while I seeing this one. Channing Tatum yummy.....

Dog or Human???

2012-02-08T01:56:00.000-06:00

Kelsey is in heat again. This time around we are trying out Lil' Swimmers. She looks pretty fancy and is very good about letting me put them on her.

Last night I found her sleeping on the couch still chillin' in her Nemo fashion wear. What cracks me up is how the Lil' Swimmers fit her when she is lying upside down.

I swear that this dog is a human soul that has been reincarnated in canine form.

A Lil' Too Comfy...

2012-02-06T13:57:00.000-06:00

Concerning ... Hayley seems a bit "too comfortable" on a motorcycle.

My baby is 8!

2012-02-03T10:19:00.001-06:00

How is it possible that my baby turned 8 yesterday? It's hard to believe that 8 years have already passed from when she was just this tiny little munchkin.

Now she seems so grown up. Where has the time gone?

It didn't take her long to turn into a big explorer. She loves science, math, animals, and chemistry. She loves watching dissections.

As quickly as she has grown up; she is still the same sweet, silly baby. She is kind and compassionate. She is loving and thoughtful. She still lets me cuddle her. Thunder still scares her.

She is still my baby.

"Kitty Kat" we love you so much. You have brought excitement, joy, and wonder into our lives. You made us parents. We can't imagine a life without you. We love you.

Happy Birthday Baby!

10 Things...Movies That Make me Cry

2012-02-02T16:07:00.000-06:00

I get pretty emotionally invested in storylines of movies, books, etc. Here are movies that make me cry regardless of how many times I watch them.

1. Terms of Endearment
2. Time Traveler's Wife
3. The Last Song - Imagine seeing someone watching a Miley Cyrus movie on a plane and sobbing. Well that weirdo would be me...
4. Beaches
5. Titanic
6. Deep Impact - I breakdown at the scene when the mommy gives her baby away. Gahhh I get sad just thinking about it right now.
7. Stepmom
8. City of Angels
9. My Life
10. We Bought a Zoo - Great movie but I cried in the theatre.

The theme seems to be death and cancer. No wonder I breakdown; I need to stop torturing myself.

Another Weekend Another ER Visit

2012-01-30T09:41:00.008-06:00

Yep. That's right; another ER visit. This time it was for Jasper.

Can the madness stop?????

Pretty please with sugar, cherries, and whipped cream on top...I am begging here.

He had been mopey over the last several days. I thought he just missed Mike since he had been gone on business travel. By Saturday afternoon we realized something much worse was going on and he was going downhill pretty quick.

A quick trip to the vet revealed that he had some sort of stomach/intestinal blockage. He was transferred over to the Emergency Animal Hospital.

We decided to go ahead and let them open him up. The doctor did the surgery Saturday night but could not find anything that was a definitive cause of the blockage.

They vet did say his ass was full of wood; literally. Haha haha haha... Okay enough; I thought it was a funny comment. Mike not so much...he didn't see the amusement in twisting the context. The wood is actually from him eating sticks from the backyard.

At this point you have to find something to laugh about; okay....because I was for sure not laughing when I had to transfer additional money into our checking account to pay for his hospital stay. All I have to say about that bill is WOW; HOLY COW.

Mike visited him Sunday morning and he seemed to be doing a bit better after getting some fluids from an IV. They finally released him from the hospital at 10:30 pm last night.

Mike thinks he looks like a daisy in his designer collar. I think he looks more like a Frilled Dragon Lizard.

Regardless he looks like a happy dog who is VERY happy to be back at home.

Cute Shoes are Worth Pain

2012-01-27T10:42:00.000-06:00

This morning Hayley did the funniest dang thing in a while. Well at least to me it was funny.

Last night we laid out today's clothes and she asked to wear her pink cowboy boots. I said "Do those still fit you?" Hayley says "Yes but can you put my other pink shoes in my bag in just case they start to hurt my feet".

This morning we are in a rush to get out the door. We drop Katherine off at school. Once we arrive at Hayley's school and get out of the car I notice she is walking funny. I said "Hayley why are you walking so weird?" "I'm not" she replies.

I go to open the door when she busts ass as she tries to step up over the curb. I turn around and help her up. Again I notice she is walking weird; like her ankles are bending.

"Hayley are those shoes all the way on your feet?" I ask. "Yes" she responds as we walk through the door.

"Hayley stop right now and let me look at those shoes" I tell her. "NOOOOO" and with that she starts to cry.

So here is the deal she couldn't get the boots to go all the way on. Her heel wouldn't fit down into the boot so she was walking on her tip toes.  She was perfectly fine with the pain as long as she could wear her cute cowboy boots.

Of course I made her change shoes which triggered a major meltdown.  Really; you can't expect to walk around on your tip toes all day much less be able to run outside on the playground.

Now I admit to have dumbly worn painful shoes plenty of times in the name of fashion.

So why do females accept pain for the sake of fashionable footwear? Is it in the genetic code?

10 Things About...Cake Decorating

2012-01-26T12:54:00.000-06:00

When Katherine was a year old I decided that I needed some type of enrichment outside of work and home. I signed up for Wilton Cake Decorating Classes and loved it.

Cake #1

Our first assignment - I love how vibrant the colors were on this cake.

Cake #2

My first cake made for public consumption. I made this for my sister's Bachelorette party. I had been in class about 3 weeks.

Cake #3

The first couple of cakes turned out well so I tried to tackle a monster for Katherine's first birthday.

Katherine was born on Groundhog's Day so I made a cake fashioned after a Groundhog popping out of a flower pot. EVERYTHING IS EDIBLE except the plate it is sitting on. This cake caused a lot of stress but was worth it in the end.

Cake #4

Practicing our flowery do's for class. About this time I started dropping my cakes off in my work break room because Mike and I were TIRED of cake!

Cake #5

Learning roses. I had a hard time with these. It is hard for a lefty to watch a righty and then try to copy their motions. Finally after lots of practice I got the hang of it.

Cake #6

Royal icing, basket weaving, and lots of flowers. The cool thing about royal icing is that you can make these in advance. My hands were sore from making so many flowers.

Cake #7

First fondant cake. I realized I much preferred fondant for decorating. You can do so much more with it.

Cake #8

My first baby shower cake. This was for a couple that I worked with.

Again everything is edible. They were obsessed with snoopy so I worked one into the design. I fashioned the paci, bracelet, rattle, roses, and blanket out of fondant. See how much fun it is to work with!

Cake #9

The only cake I have taken money for - $200 if I remember correctly.

This was for a wedding. I changed up the fondant a bit and made it from marshmallows. It makes it taste SO MUCH better. This cake was also a major source of stress - probably because I was pregnant with Hayley but didn't know it yet!

I loved how the top layer turned out. This was also the last cake I have really made. Life got too crazy and I let the hobby go. You never know - I may pick it up again in the future.

Cake #10

Katherine and Hayley's first cake. I kept them entertained one afternoon by letting them go wild and decorate a cake. Do we have a couple of future decorators in the works???

Is 2012 going to be one of those years?

2012-01-23T08:40:00.000-06:00

2012 isn't starting off as well as I had hoped. Saturday brought on another hospital visit. This time I was in the ER.

See my joy...

I had stabbing chest pains that radiated through my back and down my arm that I let go on for a few hours to see if they would go away. They persisted so I headed off the ER.

I found out I have a minor collapsed lung. Yes that is correct. I have no idea how it happened. Luckily it was small enough that the doctor opted to not do a chest tube and instead put me on oxygen and observation for a few hours. Everything stayed stable so they finally released me with a prescription for some narcs.

Now I am back off to see my primary doctor for some more xrays to make sure the hole (in the lung) is closing and that the trapped air is dissipating.

Am I falling apart?

Sleepy Girl

2012-01-20T13:28:00.000-06:00

Katherine loves her winter cap so much that last night I found her sleeping with it on.

Such a pretty sleeping princess.

10 Things About our Dating Life

2012-01-19T15:34:00.000-06:00

1. It is funny that we both held onto little trinkets from our first few encounters. I only recently found out he still had the original piece of paper I wrote my phone number on. He just ran across my trinkets in the attic about a couple of months ago.

2. When Mike first asked me for my phone number we were sitting in his car. He opened up his glove box to look for something to write with and some big boobed girl's senior photo fell into my lap.
Nice....good way to try and pick up a girl.

3. Our first date was July 7, 1994. I asked Mike out because every time he had asked me prior I had to turn him down because I was grounded.

4. Thanks to my sisters; we officially started "going together" August 1,1994. They kept giggling and asking "Are you boyfriend and girlfriend?".

5. When we first started dating Mike always had money to take me out. I found out he was selling his CDs to fund our dates.

6. We have spent more than half of both our lives together. We have been together 17 years, 6 months, and 13 days as of today. That is 50.3% of my existence and 51.5% of Mike's. Yes I am the older woman.

7. After my first semester of college I got my own apartment. After a while of me living alone we decided that Mike was going to move in. I came home from work and all of his crap was sitting around my apartment in trash bags. He had my entertainment center pulled away from the wall and was CUTTING A HOLE IN THE BACK to fit his stereo because; and I quote; "It was better than mine". I thought to myself "What the hell was I thinking letting him move in".

8. We attended the same college. We would take our general study classes together. I would get really pissed because he would not go to class and then expect me to share my notes. The best part; he would whine about my handwriting. I finally got tired of him mooching and quit letting him borrow my notes. Yes I was one of those people.

9. Mike got down on one knee and asked me to marry him while I was working at the bank. I remember my co-workers starting to cry while I was more like "it's about time...."

10. After 7 years, 11 months, and 8 days we were married. One of the happiest days of my life.

A couple of pictures of two young kids...

Summer 1994; no I didn't like his hair. He did this AFTER we started dating.

Prom 1995.

Drunk Dora

2012-01-18T13:06:00.004-06:00

I found Dora crashed out on the couch last night after the girls went to bed.

Her creepy blinky eyes make her look like a drunk. Her weird smile doesn't help. That whack hair standing straight up just supports the theory. Yep she looks like a lush that can't hold her liquor.

I am watching the first season of "American Horror Story" right now.

That show makes dumb stuff creep me out.

So I had to move Dora so her eyes would close all the way.

--- Buenas Noches Dora!

Funk

2012-01-17T16:16:00.000-06:00

I am in a funk. Business wise I have so many things that need to be done. Personal wise I have so many things going on. My brain is fighting sticking with the program and working through everything one at a time.

I think I need to do a mundane type craft or something so my mind can go on standby for a while. Maybe that will work...

Nerdy

2012-01-13T11:14:00.000-06:00

Would you rather be referred to as:

Exhibit A: Nerdy

Exhibit B:

Intellectual Bad Ass

I'll take #2.

It is all about perception.

10 Things About Me

2012-01-12T12:58:00.006-06:00

One of my New Year's Resolutions is to be consistent with the blog since I am chronicling the life of our family. Sooooo...I have decided to do a Thursday series 10 Things About......fill in the blank.

Let's get this party started!

10 Things About Me

Hmmmm....this is always a hard one.

1. I am officially 5'2" tall. Watching my kids continue to cling to the bottom of the growth charts makes me think they have inherited my shortness.

2.  I LOVE MAKE UP. I don't even know how many eye shadows I have anymore. I am not talking like 10 or 15 eyeshadows; I am talking 40 or 50 + pods. One day I will have to do a post on how I store all of this crap and am still able to take everything with me when I travel without having to check an extra suitcase.

Yes I take it

ALL

EVERY

TIME

I travel.

A girl has to have options you know.

Oh and I guess I shouldn't refer to it as crap. It is not really crap and bucketed with #10 because I use and love it all.

3. I quit working out but want to start up again. I think I want to take some type of dance class. Now I feel the eye rolls commencing while you are staring at the screen. You say but you only weigh 102 lbs.

Genetic body disposition and feeling healthy are two different things. Nuff said.

4. I am chugging along with my consulting business. It is hard to believe I have been on my own for 6 months already. I need to do a post on my business and what I do exactly.

5. The Great Gallbladder Saga of 2011 seems to have officially ended. WooHoo!!! I feel great and can eat almost everything I have tried so far.

6. I (we) want to move to the country. I am tired of having neighbors and want the kids to be able to play out front without me standing there constantly saying "Watch for cars".

7. I am now starting to question the 10 Things About Series. Finding 10 Things is harder than I thought. Maybe I should consider changing it to 7. Yes I am counting this one as an item.

8. My eyes are green. Maybe green eyes are a recessive trait. Mike's brown eyes won out with both girls.

9. I think I might want a tattoo. Not a huge snake coiled around my arm or anything like that. I am thinking more on the lines of an ambigram of the girls' nicknames. I am not sure where to put it though. I am starting to think it could be in a more visible locale if it is in white ink.

10. I am very excited that we are decluttering the house this year to support #6. WE HAVE TOO MUCH CRAP!!! I want to start a list of everything we actually sell and how much we made because I want to see exactly how much we profit (loosely using the term here b/c I am sure we paid more originally).

Whew. I made it to 10. Maybe #10 could be a list one Thursday.

Got any ideas for 10 thing lists peeps???

Bonus Item: In college I used all of my elective credits to take extra Economics classes. My degree could have gone either way Finance or Economics. I took Intermediate Microeconomics, Intermediate Macroeconomics, and Economics of Public Policy for example:

FOR FUN.

Yes that is nerdy. Yes I like Economics.

Now I feel better for fudging on #7.

Summit: Where is my Breaking Dawn Edward Action Figure?

2012-01-10T16:24:00.000-06:00

Dear Summit Entertainment,

What has become of the Twilight Saga ~~dolls~~ Action Figures???

I have Twilight Edward, New Moon Edward, Sparkly New Moon Edward, and my favorite, Eclipse Edward, who was the first one that actually looked cute minus, of course, his pants.

I have been excitedly anticipating his arrival into stores. I have continued to check Toys R Us and Amazon to see if he has been released. You continue to disappoint me.

I checked the manufacturers website. There is no mention of my Edward Breaking Dawn ~~doll~~ Action Figure.

Really?!?!?!?! How can this be? This should be the best selling Edward ever!!! I have been dreaming of owning Tuxedo Edward. I am baffled on his absence. My collection is incomplete.

I encourage you to please correct the situation promptly.

Signed One Disenchanted Collector

Update: School Supplies

2012-01-05T14:49:00.000-06:00

Folks we may have a hoarder on our hands. After I sent my email to Katherine's teacher she opened up a cabinet containing EXTRA school supplies and handed my child a box of crayons. Why is she asking for more when they still have some on hand from the begininning of the year???

Really!?!?!?! Sheesh.....

Hooky

2012-01-03T13:20:00.000-06:00

I let Hayley skip preschool today. She called Nin Nin to excitedly tell her that she got to stay home.

So Nin Nin said "Hayley; you are playing hooky today?"

Hayley exasperated said "No Nin Nin I am playing Polly Pockets..."

School Supplies

2012-01-02T16:43:00.003-06:00

Teachers Take No Offense - This is not a direct jab at you; rather the viewpoint of a frustrated parent...Really you guys you have a job that I do not have the patience to do. Trust me I admire you for it.

Katherine brought a second supply list over the holidays. Yes; a second list. Now I know I supplied everything on her original list at the beginning of the year. When a pack contained multiples I went ahead and sent the extras as well. So am I wrong in wondering what has happened to the original $40 of supplies I sent just 4 short months ago? Her original list requested multiple boxes of crayons, markers, etc.

Has she really used all of these? It just doesn't seem likely.

Katherine thinks someone stole her second box of crayons and one of her glue sticks. If there are thieves in the classroom are they not called out? Katherine's name is written on every supply.

Every single crayon, marker, and the boxes in permanent marker... It would not be hard to find her missing supplies.

I have a very vivid memory from First Grade. We had a boy in our class that was always stealing other people's stuff. He got caught a couple of times and reprimanded. Since this did not solve the problem the third time he was caught my teacher stopped class, took his pencil box to the girl he had stolen from, and told her to take anything she wanted. She hesitated. Finally my teacher took a whittled down crummy looking dark blue crayon and handed it to the girl. She then asked the boy how it felt to not have the blue crayon he would need to do his work. She told him she would tell his parents he needed new blue crayon and fill them in on the fate of the original one.

You know what; that kid didn't steal anything else that year. Hopefully it was a lesson he took beyond First Grade. It obviously left an impression on me as this happened almost 29 years ago and I can vividly recall the incident and emotions from that day.

So what is the solution here? So far I sent an email to Katherine's teacher innocently requesting further reasoning for the extra supplies. I fully explained that I don't have a problem taking care of Katherine's needs. I do however have a problem "adopting" extra kids to provide for. I don't think it is unwarranted to want further explanation.

I really don't want to come off as a crabby parent. We send money to school for their various causes and charities they collect for. We have participated in PTA fundraisers.

So I ask is it unreasonable to get a bit irked over the request for more supplies?

Goofy

2011-12-30T12:52:00.000-06:00

I love this kid!

Recovery Buddy

2011-12-29T08:04:00.002-06:00

Someone really enjoyed mommy's bed rest post surgery.

For about four days straight you could find Kelsey sprawled out like this.

Is is wrong that I like to rub her lips when she is asleep?

Or that I secretly enjoy the smell of her paws?

Maybe I am just craving Fritos...

Have you ever noticed dog paws smell oddly similar to the chips?

Enough with the pictures already...I have a job to to here.

Keeping the bed warm is hard work.

Gallbladder Post-Op

2011-12-27T13:22:00.001-06:00

I AM CURED!!!!!

I have not had one bout of nausea since the surgery YEA!!!!

Thursday the 22nd I went under the knife to have my first organ removed. I was quite nervous but since I felt like I could barf all the way to the hospital that morning I was more than ready to have this adventure end. I was amazed at how busy the day surgery ward was at 6:30 in the morning. That place was PACKED.

I tried to stay awake and made it as far as the operating room. The next thing I knew I woke up in recovery and then again in a private room. My shoulder hurt like hell so I got a dose of hydrocodne and morphine.

I decided right then and there that I love morphine. It is absolutely fabulous. Anyway after several hours of waiting I could not use the restroom so they decided to do a catheter and sent me on my way out the door.

Unfortunately the restroom issue did not resolve itself once we got home and I started having vision problems so we spent the next day in the ER. Once again I got to enjoy a catheter. Bleh. The ER doctor decided the blurred vision was a weird side effect of the the anaesthesia so they sent me on my way again.

The next few days were full of blurred vision(I couldn't make out anything up close; very unsettling), pain, ice packs, hydrocodne, and lots of sleep. Unfortunately a lot of Christmas was a blur as well.

Yesterday was the turning point. I feel much better today. The incisions are still sore but not my guts if that makes sense.

A nice view of my knife wounds. Four small holes are better then one big one. The one at the top hurts the most.

The surgery was 100% worth it. I am starting to feel better than I have in probably a year.

Getting Crafty

2011-12-21T00:25:00.000-06:00

I love making things, painting, and in general artsy fartsy projects. I rarely ever have time anymore to indulge in this side of me. I have definitely made up some time over the last week or so.

1. I decided not to buy toys for the nieces and nephews this year. They have way too many already. Hold up before you think I went Grinch. I still wanted to find something fun for them. I found this idea on some blog (sorry I don't know which one) and asked Katherine and Hayley if it was a cool gift. They loved the idea so we got to work making "Make Your Own Sundae" boxes for everyone. It has everything you need to build a sundae less, of course, ice cream which does not do well sitting wrapped under the tree. I thought they turned out pretty cute and I hope the kiddos like them.

2. Teacher Gifts. Usually I just stock up on Target gift cards and let the girls gift these out. This year I opted not to go that route. (Finding out I have a gall bladder problem has been a very pricey endeavor to say the least). Katherine, Hayley, and I opted to stay on the crafty route for the teachers. I took a basic Bath Salt recipe and customized it to our liking.

These were super easy to make and I had most of the items needed on hand already. I will admit that it was a pretty time consuming project. Actually the jars were timing consuming from a hands on perspective. The bars were time consuming due to the curing period but didn't really need a lot of attention while they hardened.

Our house smells amazing after baking over 250 bath salt bars since I infused these with a fragrance mist from Victoria Secret. The girls tried some out this evening in the bath and the whole bathroom smelled like Victoria Secret "princess" spray. They also made the girls hair very soft. So once we run out we will definitely make more since the kids loved mixing and measuring the ingredients and creating a magical potion.

Here are a few variations of the lids we created.

Katherine and Hayley were very proud of our work and are super excited to take their gifts to school tomorrow.

I think I got my craft fix for a while. I hot glued my fingers approximately 987 times. Katherine howled with laughter every time I yelped while trying to peel the layer of glue sometimes along with a layer of skin off my fingers.

It was a great lesson for the girls. They learned to take pride in their work and probably more importantly that creating something special can be better than running out and buying something at the store. So it is a win win all around.

Pup Cup

2011-12-20T09:51:00.000-06:00

Do you let your dog get a "Pup Cup" at Starbucks? Kelsey lives for the mornings that she gets this special treat.

Everyone needs a vice.

Family Photos Fireplace Decor

2011-12-19T15:58:00.000-06:00

We finally got the first round of family pictures framed and hung up. I love how it turned out!

Finally an Answer

2011-12-15T17:18:00.000-06:00

Over the last two months I have been subjected to a plethora of tests, poking, and probings.
I have had:
EGD (scope down the throat) - Results essentially normal
Colonoscopy (scope up the you know where) - Normal
Blood work - Normal
Ultrasound (Abdominal) - Normal
Hida Scan - (radioactive tracer injection the progress is monitored by a hour's worth of x-rays) Score of 98. Depends on who you ask if this is normal or not. Back to this one in a minute.
EUS (EGD with an ultrasound done from the inside) - Abnormal.

Symptoms:
The zombie smell has disappeared. I am no longer holding in farts every time I am in public.  This is life changing let me tell you. Unfortunately the nausea and vomiting has continued to increase in frequency to where I am now nauseous basically 24 hours a day if I go without medication. This is also life changing. I haven't worn a necklace in about two months because it makes me gag. I have started wearing hoodies as shirts because I can quickly unzip them or take them off if I start gagging. Not good people.

The diagnosis:
I have a gallbladder full of sludge. This is essentially a nice thick secretion that blocks up the bile flow. Sounds pretty gross.  So I am evicting the misbehaving organ next week.

It took forever to get a diagnosis because my original GI was insistent that I had IBS. I had to keep pushing on her to run more tests.

Now there is debate on the hida scan test results and what is acceptable. Old school doctor's believe if you are over 35 you are golden. My original GI was one of these and she was in love with my overachieving score of 98.

There is a bunch of research showing that the normal range should be 35 - 75. Lower is bad and higher is bad. Those of you who know me won't be surprised to know that I went and read through multiple articles published in the Nuclear Medicine community.  This information clearly shows that hyper kinetic gallbladders (read spazzy) are just as bad as non-functioning ones. I ended up finding a new doctor who was more versed in the new research. He was the first doctor to really push around on my abdomen where I was complaining about pain. He is also one of the few doctor's in the metroplex that performs the EUS scopes. The scope confirmed his suspicions that my gallbladder is all clogged up.

I am so glad to have a diagnosis and plan to fix the problem. Being sick for six months straight has been no fun. I never knew I could get so excited about giving up body parts. I also never knew going to the doctor for corpse like gas would lead me down this road....

Acting Debut

2011-12-03T15:25:00.000-06:00

Katherine made her acting debut last night.

I present you with "Vixen" the reindeer.

More pictures to come of the play itself. They did a great job and put on a very entertaining musical!

Just A Rant...

2011-11-28T13:18:00.002-06:00

I wonder sometimes what kind of world my girls are growing up in. Everyone seems to be so self-centered these days. I am not saying I am Mother Teresa by any means. I do think I have compassion and respect for other human beings.

I mean between watching Black Friday videos and reading the news articles of people plowing down, pushing, shoving, and macing others for a XBox or worse a $1.88 towel sale just doesn't make sense. Do they really need towels that bad that it is worth risking injury to themselves and others?

A saw last night that ANOTHER boy's sports coach is being investigated for inappropriate conduct with young boys. Are these people so sick in the head that they would put kids at risk for a lifetime of anguish and a host of other problems just to satisfy some selfish need? Whatever happened to keep your hands, feet, and all other objects to yourself?  There are no if, ands, or butts this behavior is flat out wrong yet it continues to happen.

What about the golden rule - treat others as one would like others to treat oneself?

My middle sister ended up in emergency surgery Friday night. I won't go into all of her personal details but her employer continued to text her and leave voicemails wondering if she was coming into work the next day!?!?!?!? This is while she is getting a blood transfusion!?!?!?!?  The problem with the entire situation was that they more than anyone else KNEW what was going on. Matter of fact she had been continuing to go to work sick for several days prior and went to work Friday morning. Before she left for the day one person gave her hell for taking off early. I think what makes me sick about the entire situation is that she works for DOCTORS?!?!?! Seriously certified practicing doctors. I believe one doctor did stand up for her though and told the other person essentially screw what needed to be done at work because she needed to head to the hospital. But even after all of this they continued to badger her about working on Sunday too.  Really!?!?!?! Is one day's rest enough for you to take after emergency surgery?  Don't even get me started on the fact that she is not supposing to even being driving for a few more days. She could have easily died if she hadn't gotten to the hospital when she did.  Are your priorities so important that you would risk another person's life?

All of this makes me want to move to the country, home school the kids, and never take them out in public again so I can protect them from the evils of the world. Realistically that still wouldn't be the best option though since some day they will be grown and on their own. They will need some street smarts to survive.

When will people come together and treat one another with respect and dignity? I worry that it will continue to get worse. Then where will we be left?

Family Photo Session

2011-11-22T11:35:00.000-06:00

I have wanted to have professional family photos taken for quite a while but time kept slipping away. I finally booked a session with a local photographer and figured we would just have to make time to squeeze it in. I am so glad I did; the photos turned out AWESOME. I know I am biased but I think my babies are gorgeous. Here are some of my favs.

I can't wait to get the prints and canvas I ordered hung up. You have to check out some of Zoe's other work www.zoedphotography.com. She is a genius. Merry early Xmas to me!

Both Well Known Women...but not for the same things...

2011-11-21T14:27:00.003-06:00

WARNING: POTENTIALLY TOUCHY TOPIC AHEAD...

Katherine and Hayley love looking through my "treasure" box of goodies that I kept from when I was little. It includes coins, rocks, an arrowhead, a marble, an credit card charge plate, and some various jewelry from my dad's mom. They also love digging through my jewelry; particularly the stuff I no longer wear.

Concern set in when Katherine ran across my rosary. I was raised Catholic but am not a practicing one. Mike was raised Lutheran. We were married in the Lutheran church. The only exposure Katherine and Hayley have had is to the Lutheran church. We don't attend regularly. Even so the Lutheran's don't use rosaries as far as I am aware and their churches are not full of statues like the traditional Catholic churches are.

Katherine's pulls my rosary out to look at it and says "Is that guy naked?" I counter "No and that is not just a guy; that is Jesus on the cross." "Oh" Katherine says. She keeps studying the rosary. "Who is the lady?" she asks. "Is that Sacajawea?"

I immediately sent Mike a text to inform him of our failure as parents.

I don't actually think we are failing the kids by not going to church every Sunday. So far we haven't found one where we live that feels right. The girls do know about God but they can not recite prayers by heart.

I don't want to drag them to church just so we can smile proudly and boast about going every week. I could be wrong but I sometimes think that is the only reason people go.

How many kids actually pay attention?

I can honestly say that I didn't for a very long time.

I don't want attending church to be seen as a chore.

I guess we are left to continue walking the tightrope of parenting.

Left to continue figuring out what is right and works for our family; how to inform them about the world and guide them to find their unique purposes in life and where they belong. I still can't say making them sit through church every week will accomplish this right now.

Maybe I will at least order some christian coloring books or something. At least then they will be exposed in a way that makes more sense to kids right now. Plus it will be done through a channel that they already love and enjoy....and they will be able to recognize religious figures, saints, etc. as contributors to religion not as an explorer looking for the Pacific Ocean...

More Checkers

2011-11-17T13:54:00.001-06:00

Finally Katherine and Hayley realized you don't have to speak Chinese in order to play Chinese Checkers. Mike and I have been teaching them how the game works. So Hayley gets my phone and asks me to play against her. When I agreed she said; "Mommy go easy on me okay!"

Transparent

2011-11-15T14:06:00.000-06:00

Katherine got sent to her room the other evening. Later that night I found these notes outside of the door to Katherine's room.

I think she was upset that was being punished; what do you think???

Radioactive

2011-11-10T16:34:00.000-06:00

I can officially say I am radioactive for a couple of days. I had a HIDA scan done today to check my gallbladder function. It wasn't too bad; I just felt really wiped out afterwards but I am not sure why.

Mike's reaction was classic when I told him that you are injected with a radioactive tracer. He said "Should you sleep on the bed next to me or are you going to give me cancer?"

I think he was kidding...

Favorite Things

2011-11-09T08:58:00.000-06:00

One thing I love to do is hold "paws" with Kelsey while I drive.

I love how she leans on the arm rest with one elbow just enjoying the ride.

Minus her desire to eat crumbs off the floor; this dog is almost as human as a dog can be.

The "Lazy's"

2011-11-08T12:02:00.004-06:00

Scene: Mommy out of town and the girls have come downstairs to convince Mike to let them sleep with him. Everyone is laying there getting close to falling asleep.

Hayley: "Daddy???"

Mike: "Yes Hayley."

Hayley: "Why do you have a case of the lazy's?"

Mike: "What??? Who told you that?"

Hayley: "Katherine."

Mike: "Katherine who told you I was lazy?"

Katherine: "Mommy..."

Stop here for a minute...I NEVER have said this EVER...

The next morning I call to make sure everyone is up and getting ready for school. Mike's feelings are hurt and he is unhappy. He told me he had laid away all night thinking about this comment.

Now Mike is a very helpful engaged partner and parent. I say this but I hate using the word helpful in what I consider is a is a joint job. I am always irritated when I hear a man talk about "helping out". I know the stereotypical roles have been blurred over the last 30 years or so. Which I think leaves a lot of men at a loss because they are expected to pick up and do things that their mother's typically handled. This also puts them in the spot of expecting to do something perfectly that they were never taught to do. I think wives probably expect things to happen a certain way and during a certain time frame that was never explicitly expressed to their partner. The guys get beat up over something they never realized was a source of frustration.

So back to the story. More frequently I have noticed Mike asking if I need help or if there is anything he can take off my plate. I haven't heard a long sigh when I ask for assistance in quite a while. It is becoming less of what can I help with and more of just tell me what all needs to be done.

And you know what IT IS NICE!

It shows you perception is everything to kids even though sometimes it is not an accurate reflection of reality.
And I reiterate I never told the kids Mike was lazy...sheesh

Speed of Sound

2011-11-07T12:01:00.000-06:00

Does the speed of sound vary by the recipient of the noise? I am starting to wonder.

Case in point: Hogan has always been a door greeter. I mean the minute someone rings the doorbell or knocks he has always run right to the door and verbally made his presence known.

On Halloween I noticed he seemed to have a case of delayed hearing. Visualize this: Trick or treater knocks on the door. No Hogan....crickets....still no Hogan....hmmm I open the door give out candy and then close the door. Trick or treaters leave. Then almost 3 minutes later Hogan runs up to the door and displays his usual barking.

Nearly every time he seemed to be on a delay. Knock..open door give out candy...close door...3 minutes passes...Hogan runs in barking like Cujo.

So odd. It is like his hearing is delayed or maybe brain waves flow slower now that he is old. Regardless I now know I have 3 minutes to answer the door before he comes flying at the visitor on our doorstep. It is kind of nice to have a little lead time now that I think about it.

Candy

2011-11-04T12:59:00.000-05:00

I thought Jasper had eaten some Halloween candy. He was the one after all that was snuffling the left over Reese's crumbs on the floor. He also had the bag of candy pulled down off the table and sitting beside him on the floor.

I found this in the backyard. Yes it is several candy bar wrappers that have be puked up.

The only problem is that they came out of this one; Kelsey.

Now I feel bad for yelling at Jasper. She left him high and dry with the contraband. Sneaky girl!

Halloween Grinch

2011-11-03T08:34:00.000-05:00

Is there such a thing as a Halloween Grinch. I told Mike the other night that I thought I might be turning into one. Usually my mom hands out candy at our house while Mike and I take the girls out around the neighborhood. This year the typical Halloween family gathering at our house puttered out so it was us and a quick drop in from Mike's parents. Therefore it was my first year to hand out candy all night.

Observations:
1. I think I had a mom playing the part of a trick or treater with her kiddo. I couldn't be positive because she had a mask on but she had boobs (no they weren't part of the costume). Regardless I was turned off by the alleged impersonator sticking her bag out wanting candy.
2. I learned that I don't like kids to stick their grubby hands in my candy bowl. I think it is rude.  I think they should wait until they are given candy or the OK signal to dive in.
3. Some kids seemed a little old to be trick or treating. I know this is hypocritical because I trick or treated through my Senior year in High School.  Still I felt a bit intimidated by monsters that were six inches tall than me banging on my door.
4. I don't like pillow cases being used as bags. Watching someone sling a pillow case over their shoulder like Santa Claus hauling a bag of toys just seems greedy.

Maybe I was just grouchy last night. I don't want to be known as the lady on the street who is stingy with her candy. So I vow next year to be less of a grump. I will remember that kids only know what they are taught and maybe their parents are the ones that let the kids grab want they want from the bowl of goodies. In their house that might be acceptable. I also vow to remember how much fun trick or treating was when I was little.  That even the big monsters are clinging on to one of the last pieces of their youth by trick or treating. I will give the alleged trick or treating mother the benefit of doubt; maybe she had a sick kid at home that was devastated because they were ill on Halloween. Maybe she vowed to collect candy for the sick kiddo. I guess you never really know the story behind the action.

I am hanging my grump costume in the back of the closet. Next year I will vow to be something fun while remembering to stay in the spirit.

Double Snaggle

2011-11-02T08:50:00.000-05:00

Katherine lost her second top tooth yesterday at school. I think she is an adorable double snaggle. She is having a little trouble making "s" sounds which I think sounds so sweet.

She was super excited this morning to see that the tooth fairy had visited and left her $5 folded into the shape of a butterfly.

Test Results

2011-11-01T12:19:00.001-05:00

1. Three pounds lost during the "cleanse". That's 3% of my body weight; wow.
2. One broken toe due to my impatience in staying in one spot too long.
3. Colonoscopy - normal
4. Upper GI - 3 biopsies taken. 2 normal; 1was inflamed so I am trying a medication to see if it clears up ALL of my symptoms.
5. New diet - I am going gluten and lactose free.
6. Feeling - Slightly better with only one overwhelming bout of nausea. I knew this would be the case post Moviprep though because every time I start throwing up I feel (and smell) better for a couple of weeks.

Next steps = equal diet change and new meds. We will see if they work otherwise it may be time to check if my gall bladder is the culprit.

Who knew buying underwear could be so hard?

2011-10-31T16:03:00.000-05:00

So we continue to feed the kids regularly and they continue to grow. Both chickadees were in dire need of new panties. Hayley is still easy; one trip to Target and we leave a variety of Smurf, Barbie, and Fairy panties. She is absolutely delighted to be wearing small blue trolls on her butt.
Katherine = not so easy. First ALL garments must come from Justice. You see it is a cardinal sin if you don't wear Justice underwear. Katherine had a pile of J-Bucks cards (essentially a 50% coupon for each $50 spent) waiting to be used so off we headed to Justice.

Five pairs of underwear and one outfit later we are standing in line to pay. I had already done the math in my head and figured the bill should be around $50ish with tax so I was quite surprised when it rang up to $82. I went ahead and paid wondering wear I had mis-added. Deciding there was no way I was off $30 I started going through the receipt with the cashier.  It seemed as if we had been severely overcharged for the underwear.

First let me say I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT when I am talked to like I am Special Ed by a 20ish year old. She mentioned whipping a calculator out to divide 8 by 2. I bit my tongue and did not mention my degree is indeed in Finance so I can probably do simple math in my head not to mention people hire me on as a consultant specifically to do math"ish" projects.

After:
A. Finding out certain soft panties were not included in their 5 for $15 or in my case $5 for $12.50 sale
B. Having to deal with my husband riding me for nit picking the receipt
C. Having to deal with my husband chastising me for giving him the finger in the middle of a children's store after he gave me a hard time for nit picking the receipt
D. Having to deal with dumb ass Justice employee who talked to me like I 100% Special Ed complete with drooling on her counter top

I decided I would take this battle on when I was without my clan of whiners who only cared about getting to the American Girl store before it closed.

To say I was irritated was an understatement.

Now I can't typically drop a topic until it is resolved. The key here is resolved to my satisfaction which I have learned is a step or two in front of most people.

I kept reviewing the receipt as we walked much to the amusement of the hubby who knew the topic would not be dropped. Finally I hit the gold mine. YES! Not only had we definitely overpaid for the underwear but they had rang up a pair of pants twice.  A smile spread across my face and victory was mine to grab.

American Girl store closing be damned I was going back to Justice.

Winning felt good. I marched up to the slow talker and pointed out that I was double charged for the pants and while I at it I was exchanging three pairs of underwear to get the full promotional price. The slow talker's sassy Math professor attitude quickly dissipated. Ha! Take that beaOtch!

Total bill $55. Just like it should have been. Mike dropped the smart ass attitude after I claimed victory and we still made it to the American Girl store with plenty of time to peruse.

Who knew buying fashionable underwear could cause such chaos??? Certainly not me or I would have made Katherine stick to Target's available selection.

I Wish We Were Just Hanging Out

2011-10-27T13:13:00.000-05:00

It has been absolutely crazy insane since last Friday.

I made it thorough my probing. Overall it wasn't too bad. The hardest part was the prep. I don't think I will be drinking any type of lemon-lime flavored drink for a long, long time. I broke my toe during the "cleanse". We will leave that story for another day. The doctor did three biopsies and we are still waiting for the results. I have had a couple different incidents since then so I really wish they would chip chop and pass along the intell.

My grandfather passed away over the weekend so I had to make a hasty 41 hour round trip to West Texas. I wish that I went out there for other reasons but it seems funerals are the only thing that drag me out that way anymore.

So my hope is that the next week will blow in a breeze of calm air. If not I may go and sit in this tree for a while and hang out to force some calm into the chaos. It is a great spot to find mental clarity. Plus I get to hang out with my favorite people in the whole world while I am there.

Bottoms Up

2011-10-20T14:38:00.000-05:00

I have that Trey Songz song running through my head.

I don't think this is what he was referring to.

Just for fun I have decided to weigh myself "before" the cleanse and then "after".

Tonight should be lots of fun.

Chinese Checkers

2011-10-20T13:17:00.000-05:00

A Katherine funny that I want to remember.
We were waiting for breakfast at IHOP last weekend and Mike and Katherine were playing Tic Tac Toe on his phone. Katherine has gotten good at this game and will block you just about everytime. Mike decided they would download another game for them to play.

K: "Daddy what game are you putting on your phone?"
M: "I am looking for Chinese Checkers."
K: "Chinese Checkers! I can't play Chinese Checkers; I don't speak Chinese!"

First Phone

2011-10-17T12:50:00.000-05:00

Katherine's extracurricular schedule has gotten to be a bit gruelling. Hayley and Katherine's activities are starting to conflict as well. Not to mention Katherine has spent the night away at a few friend's houses recently. To sum it up in one word - she is gaining - independence.

I surprised her the other day by taking her to pick out her first cell phone. To say she was excited was an understatement.

I am much more comfortable now that I have a direct line to her at all times. She is thrilled to have her very own phone number and has called just about everyone we know to share it.

She is already OBSESSED with texting. I got 10 texts from her within a hour while theatre practice was going. She and a friend she met at the theatre traded digits last night so they could text each other. All the way home I heard "ping", "ping", "ping". I have already had to set a rule that she is not to text me while we are in the same location. It is absolutely silly for her to text me while I am in the office and she is in the living room.

Honestly she is very proud to be big enough to have her own phone and has told me several times "it means a lot to her" that I trust her to have her own phone.

If you had asked me five years ago I would have told you that there was absolutely no way I would ever buy my 2nd grader a phone. I guess "never say never".

Getting Real

2011-10-14T15:59:00.000-05:00

Next Friday I am going to have a minor surgical procedure. This is not anything I am looking forward to at all. I am getting probed via an upper endoscopy and a colonoscopy. Thank goodness they are knocking me out. I mean I have a nasty gag reflex so the upper GI sounds unappealing and well have another tube shoved - well you know where - sounds just as bad.

So I am staring at the pamphlets they sent me home with and looking at the cover. Why am I going through this? I mean that man on the cover is OLD! Am I aging beyond my years???

I would like to just push this off and hope things get better. The reality is though something is wrong with my digestive system. Things probably won't get better until the mystery is solved which means shoving probes in unappealing locations.

So what's wrong? Well I haven't spoken about my issues really to anyone because - well it's embarrassing. I would like to pretend that I don't poop and fart but reality is everyone does and I can tell you exactly how much is normal per day because I have thoroughly researched the topic. I was excited when Katherine and Hayley were potty trained and started wiping their own butts because I thought finally my days would no longer revolve around other people's doo doo. Then my own body started to taunt me with it's own set of unattractive tricks.

The problem first started a couple of year's ago while I was on a business trip to San Diego. The symptoms were relentless until finally I sought help from a Gastro specialist. She gave me something that basically killed off all of the bacteria in my digestive system so I could start fresh. It worked and all was good with the world again.

Fast forward to this last June. We were at Disney World and suddenly the symptoms came back with serious venegance. I went and saw our family practioner who suggested I go on the BRAT diet. It didn't work. I continued tortured everyone in our family for a couple of months until I made the appointment with the specialist. Suddenly about a month ago all of the symptoms just disappeared after I had a bout with what I thought was a stomach bug. Then I flew to Pennsylvania; it all started up again within 12 hours of landing and I was miserable again.  I was thankful that I had kept the appointment with the specialist scheduled and went and paid her a visit yesterday which leads to next Friday's adventure.

So I am going to spill it.  I can't even believe I am typing this - (slow breathes) I smell like a zombie. Absolutely 100% not joking. My digestive system has slowed to a snail's pace and I am constantly full of the foulest gas imaginable. It wakes me up at night. It has driven me to sleep on the couch so I don't wake up Mike. The girls tell me to go away. My tummy seems to always be upset; not like stabbing pains but more along the lines of gurgly and churning with a feeling like I could puke and sometimes I actually do. Either food has zero appeal or I am so hungry I feel like I could faint. Finally when the digestive engine gets moving the slow churning feeling turns to into that gut stabbing feeling. I finally get a few hours of reprieve and then it starts all over again.

So it boils down to this - I am fixing to spend close to $3,000 (yes that is our out of pocket portion estimate, yikes) for the freakin' farts. I mean fuck the freakin' fart problem. It really pisses me off that farts are costing us the equivalent of a decent family vacation. I know the farts are just the effect of a bigger issue but still; really; that is insane.

In trying to stay positive about next Friday hopefully we will get an answer as to what is going on and Mike will quit calling me "stank ass"'. It kind of hurts my feelings.

Oddly enough I feel a bit better now that I have gotten that off my chest. Whew....

After 4 + years...finally...success

2011-10-12T16:25:00.003-05:00

When we moved into our house a few years ago we were crazy busy. Some things never were unpacked. One of these was a box of over 300 old CDs that sat collecting dust in the garage. During my Hayley nesting phase I took the box to Half Price Books and sold them all. I figured we had not opened that box in a year so it simply was no longer needed. Besides Mike and I had sporadically moved music onto our ITunes library so I figured if we wanted the songs we probably already had them in a digital format.

Of course no sooner than I gotten rid of them Mike decided he needed one of the CDs....and neither one of us remembered the band's name.

Now I always thought I had a decent memory. I was pretty positive the band's name started late in the alphabet because I remembered where it had formerly been filed on the bookcase. (Yes I am one of those people who alphabetized their CDs). I also was positive the song came out between 1996 - 1997 based on my memories of listening to it and where I worked at the time. I thought it was maybe Sponge or Stiltskin but neither were right.

Over the last four years we have periodically trolled the internet going through Top Alternative lists, searching by the ONLY three words in the chorus that we remembered (Caroline! Caroline! Caroline!). We dug through old radio playlists. I emailed a radio station that used to play the song without success.

I even thought about hiring a hypontisist to see if I could go back and read the CD spines from an old memory.

Weird - possibly...desperate to solve the mystery - definitely.......determined to succeed - absolutely.

Last night I finally did it after four years of looking.

I decided that maybe they were a local band and I FINALLY solved the mystery.

Soak was the band.

The CD was released in mid 1997.

The song was Shutter Gut.

The key for solving the puzzle was start searching under specific cities. They were practically in my backyard all this time.

I have my ordered through Amazon and can't wait for it to show up so I can load it up electronically.

Mike is amazed that I figured it out. I woke him up playing it on my IPad. It was quite fun to see the shock on his face when he figured out what I was making him listen to.

I am pretty impressed with my memory as well. It would have been filed right with the other band's I searched. This CD was awesome so I am still amazed at how hard it was to find it. You have to check it out.

Yippee! Happy me!

Determination is really the key to success!

First Stitches

2011-10-10T11:48:00.000-05:00

Hayley had a new first last Monday. Stitches.... Now this is a first I would prefer we not have to celebrate.

She was standing on her chair at the table and reaching over to the counter top to try and reach a piece of artwork. Her dress got caught on the back of the chair which caused her to slip. This threw her off balance and caused the chair to flip and Hayley to slam her face into the edge of the counter top.

Hayley was hysterical and did not want to go to the hospital and fought me kicking and screaming to the car. Once we arrived it never got any better. She would not let the doctors and nurses look at her, much less touch her. They ended up giving her Ketamine and drugging her out of her mind so that they could do their jobs.

Watching her lay there in a completely zombie state was one of the worst things I have seen. Blank stare, twitching, and drooling I hope we never have to do that again.

She received two stitches and then stayed in the ER until the drugs wore off. Once she came out of her trance the first words out of her month were "I don't want to die". Awful, awful, awful....

We finally got home around midnight and sat down to scarf down some McDonald's. Our emergency occurred while I was cooking so we had not eaten that night.

Finally it was to bed for everyone but me...I had a 6:20 AM flight to Pennsylvania booked....

The pics are a few days post incident. The swelling had gone down so Hayley was finally open to letting me take a picture.

Audition Results

2011-09-27T10:59:00.000-05:00

Katherine's audtion was Saturday morning. Sunday afternoon she received this email.

Yea Katherine! She is VERY excited.

So lots of practice and rehearsals to come in the next couple of months. It will be fun to watch her expand her horizons, learn new things, and make new friends. I think she will find a new level of independence and confidence from this experience.

Something looks wrong here....

2011-09-26T10:08:00.000-05:00

No I don't usually throw trash on the floor when we are done with it.

Kelsey is on a diet. Obviously she is fighting it.

She finished off the Cinnabon box and licked it absolutely clean.

I will have to give her kudos for ensuring success of "Operation Cinnamon Roll". She waited to steal the goodies while I was in the shower.

Kelsey, Kelsey, Kelsey.....

Tomorrow

2011-09-23T10:37:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya tomorrow, your always a day away.....

Tomorrow Katherine auditions for her first play. Her monologue is Shel Silversteins's "25 Eels" poem. The song she is singing is Annie's "Tomorrow".

So in looking forward to tomorrow we will no longer have to sing Annie songs in the car non-stop. And in the bath, and while we make dinner, and when it is bedtime.....

I can stop giving a crap about Allison Beal and her 25 Eels.

Whining aside Katherine is dying to get a part in this play at an Acting Theatre in our area. She has been practicing her audition non-stop.

I am very proud of her.

So acting gods...please, please, please, let Katherine get a part in this play. She will be devastated if she does not make the cut. She has worked so hard and I can't bear the thought of her aspirations being crushed...

Things I wish I could go one day without....

2011-09-23T10:26:00.000-05:00

1. Right now I can't go without having to "hard" pinkie promise for something every day. Every time I am forced into the hard pinkie promise I am reminded that "hard pinkie promises can never be broken".

2. I here the phrase "No fair" approximately 938 times a day. Hayley even told me it was no fair that boys spit but she can't. Good lord!

3. The chicks ask to play with my "phoney" at least 50 times a day. I guess it is good that they ask. For a while they would just sneak it out of my purse. I would have to call it and run around the house listening for the beacon because it was always getting "misplaced".

4. Mike's small horse jumping on me. Jasper is getting HUGE. The jumping simply must stop.

Only time will tell what will replace these...maybe it will be something slightly less annoying but I doubt it.

Good Fortune

2011-09-20T08:55:00.000-05:00

You probably wouldn't think it is good fortune to have an eighty pound solid wood giraffe fall on top of you and your NEW computer.

I disagree and say it is because the only injury is a sore, scratched up hand. The giraffe suffered slightly worse injuries but can be fixed.

It could have ended up much worse; I was inches away from being hit blunt force on the head.

Silly that something so off the wall can make you remember to be grateful.

The Old Timey Days - 20 things we didn't have

2011-09-13T12:26:00.000-05:00

I think everyone would agree that the world seems to be changing so fast these days.  It got the girls and I talking about what we didn't have when I was a little girl.  You know in the "old timey days"...

1. Cartoon Network - Saturday morning was about the only time you could get your cartoon fix.
2. Cell Phones - Nope, nada, didn't exist.
3. On Demand TV - Sorry you had to plan out your TV watching by reviewing the TV guide that was published with the Sunday paper. If you lost it sorry you were screwed for the week.
4. IPods/IPads
5. Automatic car windows - How lazy have we become if my kids think that must have been really hard work to roll the windows up and down BY HAND.
6. Remote entry key fobs - Sorry you used your keys when you got to the car.
7.  Sensor dispensers - paper towels, soap, faucets, etc. You had to bite the bullet and physically touch (oh my) the goods.
8. Cordless phones - This totally baffled the girls that you had to sit in one place if you were having a phone conversation.
9. Garage door openers - I vaguely remember my parents opening the door by hand. Manual labor people.
10. Internet- Oh my...how did we make it through the day?
11. Electric toothbrushes - sorry work those arm muscles and scrub away.
12. Call waiting - remember the days of the busy signal?
13. Answering machines
14. GPS and electronic directions - I remember the days of carrying an Atlas under your seat and local area maps in the glove box.
15. WalMart - Not the same as 20 years ago...
16. Cameras on everything - I remember those cool little square flash bulbs you had to buy.
17. Automatic pictures - Get this you had to actually wait days to see your photos.
18. Microwaves - No mac and cheese was available ready to eat in 90 seconds.
19. Debit cards - Get this you paid with a check written out by hand...
20. Smartboards - The greatly improved version of the chalkboard.

That what I could think of off the top of my head.  Can you think of anything I missed?

Channeling "Selena Gomez"

2011-09-12T13:25:00.001-05:00

Mike's "Son"

2011-09-08T13:08:00.000-05:00

Mike is so proud that Jasper got his first bird.

He seems to be a natural.

Another One Down

2011-09-06T13:59:00.000-05:00

Katherine lost her third tooth this weekend. I think she looks adorable with her holey smile.

The tooth fairy came and left her a letter and 5 $1 bills folded into a big origami star. I didn't get a picture though because Katherine took it apart immediately. She said she needed to flatten out the wrinkled money. I bet the tooth fairy sent a good deal of time making the crisp folds in the bills to build the star.

A Classic

2011-08-31T09:32:00.000-05:00

I love introducing the girls to things I loved when I was their age.

The newest introduction was last Friday evening to:

Katherine liked it but Hayley absolutely ate it up so much that we watched it again last night.

I still have all of the songs memorized and most of the dialogue as well. So much so that Kat and Hayley asked me to stop singing with the show last night.

I never realized until last night what a genius Carol Burnett is.

I love her as Ms. Hannigan.

Judging by last night I have a feeling that Annie will be running on a continuous loop in our house for a while.

Sneaky

2011-08-30T10:58:00.000-05:00

That little booger Katherine went into my phone and deleted the goober pictures I had taken. She was afraid I would stick them on the blog. Ha.....the joke is on her because I already had posted them and now they are archived for eternity.

The "Tail" of the Cookie Monster(s)

2011-08-30T10:07:00.000-05:00

The other day Mike baked some chocolate chip cookies. Once they had cooled I moved them off the baking sheets to a plate so I could run them through the dishwasher. The next day I realize that the plate of cookies was missing. So I think back; is it possible that Mike, Katherine, and Hayley ate all 24 cookies already? Did Mike take the whole plate to work with him?

Then I had a vision of an seemly benign event earlier in the day. I found a plate on the floor. One of the kids plastic plates. At the time I figured it had somehow gotten knocked out of the cabinet when I was making the girls breakfast. I mean I was still in a half sleep stupor so it was plausible.

It was a blue Shamu plate; the same kind of plate I stacked the cookies on. So now I had two additional suspects to add to the list. Kelsey and Jasper.

I questioned the human speaking suspects. They all denied scarfing down 24 cookies. So it leaves me with two:

AND

Neither is spilling the beans. Neither had the uncontrollable runny dookeys associated with eating 24 cookies. I decided it might have been a team event.

I am considering setting up a sting operation to get to the bottom of the mystery.

Cookies anyone?

Goober

2011-08-29T15:40:00.001-05:00

What a goober.

I hope her eyes don't get stuck.

Katherine enjoys grossing me out by showing how far she can bend her loose top tooth around.

Who is the most excited about school starting?

2011-08-26T08:12:00.000-05:00

Kelsey is so excited to go for rides on a regular basis again.

Just look at that smile!

How attractive

2011-08-25T08:53:00.000-05:00

"Hey mommy it looks like I am peeing" Hayley exclaims with glee as she is crouching on the bench taking a breather. I look down and the way to water is dripping off of her it does indeed look like she is peeing a river.

"Cool I am going to get wet and do it again" she exclaims.

I am so proud.

We should have been more prepared

2011-08-25T08:50:00.000-05:00

No swimsuits, no towels, no problem.

See mom we told you we would be fine.

The stipulation I put in place was that they could go ahead and get wet but there was to be absolutely no whining about how cold they were when we got in the car. What they didn't seem to come to terms with is when it is 107 degrees outside I am cranking the car A/C down to 60 degrees.

I mean come on, I sat there melting like a freaking stick of butter while they frolicked in the fountains. Everyone was good on the ride home. Once we got in the house the complaints came flying double time. Wet clothes went flying and naked kids went running.

At least they held to their word and didn't complain on the ride home.

First Day of School

2011-08-24T15:35:00.000-05:00

It is hard to believe that summer is already over and school is here. Both girls had mixed feelings about school starting. They were excited to go back and see their friends but not thrilled to give up their lazy lay around mornings.

Katherine started second grade. Really. How is it possible that she already big enough to be in second grade? I mean I remember being in second grade myself; it doesn't seem that long ago. Katherine let us walk her to class but I wasn't allowed to take pictures. Sad to think this is probably the last year she lets me walk her inside at all.

Hayley started Pre-K II. She looks like such a big girl in her uniform. I think I will love uniforms with Hayley because it cuts down on the morning clothing battles. Yes we pick her clothes out the night before but she has a habit of changing her mind in the morning just to make me go a little bit crazy.

Best buddies who had to spend their first day apart in over two and a half months.

Overall the first day of school was uneventful and Mike only got bitched at one time at the Elementary School. Such a rebel; he crossed over at the wrong crosswalk in the school circle.

Two Words...

2011-08-18T08:58:00.000-05:00

CANDY MONSTER

It has been a while

2011-08-17T09:52:00.002-05:00

Time for the Not Me's because well - it has been a while.

1. I do not cuss Mallie everytime she beats me at "Words with Friends". I am not a sore loser.

2. I did not buy and smear Jock Itch cream all over a spot on the dog that I thought was possibly ringworm. I always check with the vet first. (It DID work by the way).

3. I did not find Katherine using glitter in the living room the other day for an art project. My kids are definitely smart enough to know glitter stays in the kitchen.

4. I did not book a 6:10 am flight to Pennsylvania because well that is WAY too early to have to get up.

5. And....I did not buy the girls a bottle of Justin Bieber perfume so I might get to use a spritz or two. I would not be caught dead smelling like the Biebs...

Happy Wednesday!

Insurance

2011-08-15T09:14:00.000-05:00

Insurance can be a life saver but a real pain in the butt sometimes. We just switched everything over to Mike's employer due to my choice to adventure into self employment (more still to come on that topic at some point in time). All doctor's pretty much transitioned with exception of the pediatric dentist.

I loved the girls dentist. Now granted I think the guy hit the laughing gas on a daily basis (NO ONE CAN EVER BE THAT HAPPY WITHOUT DRUG INTERVENTION) he was an absolute angel of a kid's dentist. Anyone who can sing through 10 rounds of "Wheels on the Bus" without missing a beat and simultaneously clean my screaming Hayley's teeth needs serious kudos.

Now I need to book Katherine an appointment to get her sealants done. I am SERIOUSLY bummed about the dentist situation.

So new person that will be cleaning my kid's teeth; you have gotten some serious expectations to live up to.

I never thought I would miss "Wheels on the Bus" so much...

The Life

2011-08-13T07:00:00.006-05:00

In my next life I want to be a dog owned by a loving family.

I would totally have it made. I could sleep all day, eat whenever I wanted, and get massaged on constantly. The only downside; no private restroom and carrying things around in my mouth.

I think I could live with that.

Sisters

2011-08-12T07:00:00.001-05:00

Toni has captured so many great photos of the girls this summer.

I just love the bond these two have.

Happiness

2011-08-11T07:00:00.007-05:00

My new favorite picture.

You can just feel the love and happiness pouring from their eyes and smiles.

Transformation

2011-08-10T09:47:00.000-05:00

I have noticed over the last few years that my tastes and preferences have changed.

1. Shopping - I used to LOVE to shop and meander the mall. Now I don't head out unless I need something specific and want in and out as fast as humanly possible.
I attribute this to the kiddos because:
     A. Being locked in a small dressing room with them is not fun
     B. It seems we spend more time in the bathroom than anywhere else
     C. I get really tired of saying catch up, don't run, quit touching everything, blah, blah, blah
     D. Someone is hungry, thirsty, tired, whiny, got to use the bathroom within 15 minutes of being out.

2. Colors - Green used to be my absolute favorite. Over the past couple of years it has been replaced by pink (nice and bright; not bubblegum) and lavender.

3. Food - It used to be I would only eat chicken. Lately I have completely lost the taste for it and would rather a good fillet mignon any day.

4. Gum - I no longer chew it. Now this is definitely due to the girls because I grew tired of picking it off the seats in the car.

5. Dirt - My tolerance for how clean the house needs to be has definitely gone down hill. I think I am just too tired to worry about it these days.

6. TV - I rarely watch TV anymore and find it to be a waste of time (with exception to the Bachelor franchise).

7. Sleep - It used to be I regularly could run on 4 -5 hours a night. Now if I don't get at least 6 hours I pay for it in a BIG way. I really miss my shortened sleep cycle and I would love to figure out how to get it back.

I wonder what is at the root of some these. Maturity level??? Aging??? I really wonder especially about the color and food change. It just seems so odd to flip flop after such a long time...

The Realization

2011-08-09T11:05:00.000-05:00

We took the kids shopping on Sunday to get ready for school which starts in a couple of weeks. Mike and I were talking on the way home and I suddenly realized: Hayley is one year away from starting Kindergarten.

Ummm wow... I almost started crying.

How is it possible that this sweet little thing is almost big enough to walk herself down the halls to class everyday? And feed herself lunch...and do homework...

It seems like yesterday that she was only this big.

I also realized that we are WELL beyond my self imposed three year age spread between kids. Not that I expect us (or really want) to add to our family BUT if we did it would be like starting all over again in a big way.

So I keep asking myself how did we get to this point so quick? I thought I would be so elated when the kids were independent but now I find myself slightly sad that their milestones seem to be passing quicker and quicker.

I am ready for things to slow down just a bit so I can enjoy my babies just a bit longer.

Introducing Ms. Toni

2011-08-08T10:15:00.000-05:00

Introducing Ms. Toni; our summer nanny.

Katherine and Hayley have definitely loved the change of routine for summer. They have had so much fun swimming, going to the movies, skating, ice skating, cheerleading camps, art classes, tea parties, and eating lunch at the American Girl store. We have loved having Ms. Toni take care of the girls this summer and will definitely miss her when school starts up in a couple of weeks. Great that we already have started planning ahead for next summer know that it is only a matter of time before she comes back!

It Finally Happened

2011-08-08T09:59:00.000-05:00

It finally happened. Katherine and I getting our clothes mixed up.

A few weeks ago I put on my black jogging shorts. As the day progressed I started thinking; damn am I gaining weight? These shorts feel tighter than I remember. I didn't really think much of it again until I went to throw them in the hamper and noticed the label. Low and behold they were Katherine's not mine.

So Friday evening Katherine is running around the house and I notice her shorts look baggier in the butt than I remember. "Come here" I tell her. "Mommmm what are you doing?" she asks as I pull the waistband of the shorts so I can see the label.

"You are wearing mommy's shorts." I inform her.

"No these are mine" she starts off in a slightly defient tone.

As I point out the baggy butt she realizes I am right. Now I wonder how long it will before I find her taking clothes out of my closet on purpose......

Boys

2011-08-08T09:46:00.002-05:00

Friday morning Katherine runs up to me distraught saying "Mommy I need to tell you something. I need to show you something on Jasper. There is something red on his "privates"".

Now I knew this was just a matter of before this topic came up because Jasper has entered the age of the juvenile dog.

Trying to contain my amusement and keep a poker face I told Katherine "Jasper is fine. The red thing is his wiener."

Katherine looks at me confused and says "But I thought we already could see his wiener."

"No baby what you can see is kind of like a sock" I try to explain.

Now it seems as if I had created even more confusion "Why?" Katherine asks.

"Well that is just how he is made" I throw out.

The questions continue to fly at rapid speed ... "Does daddy's do that?" Katherine starts to ask.

I then realize I. AM. NOT. READY. FOR. THIS. So I throw a new tactic in to end the question assault; it's called; "Distract and Redirect". "Katherine come here in the closet and help mommy pick out some shoes" I try. "Okay" she says.

Thank goodness shoes worked as a distraction!

Smart Dog

2011-08-02T17:50:00.001-05:00

Meet the newest member of the family; Jasper. Yes he is named after a vampire but NOT the one I would have chosen.

Anyhoo; Jasper trolls the backyard on a daily basis looking for stuff to chew up. Sticks, wood chips, bark, THE SIDE OF OUR HOME, etc. He finally ate something that didn't settle well in his system.

Jasper's kennel is in our bedroom so he won't whine all night long. Well Friday night, I woke up to pitiful whimpering and a foul odor. I shoved Mike and said "Get up. I think your dog is pooping in his kennel." (Side note this is abnormal behavior okay).

Mike gets irritated at me for shoving him and announces he farted and that must be what I am smelling. I yell at the dog to be quiet and bury my face and ears into my pillow.

Fast forward a couple of hours to Saturday morning. What am I greeted with? Dog poop e-very-where! I spent the next couple of hours cleaning up the floor, kennel, carpet, WALL, and giving the poopy dog a bath.

I will have to say he is pretty smart. It looks like he purposely smashed his butt up against the kennel to try and spew diarrhea outside of his bed. I guess if my tummy hurt and I couldn't get out of my bed that is what I would try to do as well.

A difference in definitions

2011-07-29T14:24:00.003-05:00

One thing we all love to do as a family is go to music concerts. I am not talking like Sesame Street, Doodle Bops, etc. (although we have seen all of these too); I am talking about the good stuff Taylor Swift, Paramore, and now Katy Perry.

The girls and Mike LOVE Katy Perry. I will have to say it is for different reasons; Kat and Hay like the songs; Mike has the hots for the chic.

It does seems slightly wrong for the girls to be bee-bopping along and singing "I kissed a girl and I liked it" but for the time being I am not going to worry.

So back to last night. We go to the concert, have a great time, and come home to crash. This morning Hayley is telling Toni (our summertime nanny who I need to introduce at some point in time) about the concert.

She tells Toni that Katy is yelling "Let's do shots, shot, shots, shots!". Imagine the short little angel below fist pumping while she is saying this. Then she proceeds to say "Katy Perry didn't shoot me though!"

VS.

I can't even image what was going through her head last night if she thought Katy Perry was going to start shooting up the joint! Good lord, now I wonder what other interpretations she made to other "questionably child friendly" topics in the concert!

Regardless we all had a great time and had lots of fun dressing up.

No judging of the hair is allowed.

Yes Hayley's is streaked pink and washes out. Katherine's is streaked blue and red but is a bit more permanent. A professional will have to be brought in before school starts to make her a solid brunette again.

Lots to Come

2011-06-27T09:08:00.000-05:00

Need to post lots of updates....a new doggy added to the family, one trip to Disney World completed, and one new business started (hence the lack of posts)....Stay tuned.....

Preview

2011-06-06T12:20:00.000-05:00

Just a preview what life has in store for us in the next few weeks...

Fashion Faux Pas

2011-05-12T09:25:00.000-05:00

This morning right as Katherine is opening up her car door to hop out at school she stops. "Mom I forgot shoes." Huh....
I look back to see red furry house slippers still snug on her feet.
"Katherine I told you to put shoes on your feet!" exasperation fills my voice.
"I forgot" she says.
"Well get out of the car; I will have to drop shoes off for you later" I announce.

"NOOOOO" mortification is imminent.

"Yes get out of the car. You will not be late to school over shoes." I exclaim. Mentally I start to picture me literally dragging her out of the car.

Hand still on the door handle; she stalls.

"Katherine get out!" I exclaim.

The look of misery clouds her eyes as she slowly climbs out of the car; defeated.

15 minutes later I drop off tennis shoes. Hopefully in 15 minutes of wearing mortifying house shoes at school emotional damage was not created.

Sheesh.......

Slightly Less Humiliating

2011-05-09T10:18:00.000-05:00

We traded the boxer briefs for ladies size 6 Hanes.

I was still having issues with her knees getting caught up in the fabric so I used a little bit of pink yarn to cinch the sides up into more of a bikini look. Plus the pink bows add a nice touch!

She seems to look a bit less miserable. At least as un-miserable as a dog stuck wearing a pad and ladies pale yellow panties can look!

Humiliating

2011-05-06T15:10:00.000-05:00

Is it absolutely humiliating to make Kelsey wear Mike's underwear around while she is in heat?????

What's That Smell

2011-05-06T09:17:00.000-05:00

A car conversation about flatulence...

Scene: Driving home last night after running errands and eating dinner.

Katherine (imagine her voice dripping in disgust): "Ewwww who farted? It stinks."
Hayley: "Not me."
Mommy: "Definitely not me."
Daddy: .........................silence

Katherine (voice full of exasperation): "Daddddddddddd; gross. You are going to make my hair stink and I just sprayed it with perfume!"

Introducing...Miss Emily Rose

2011-05-05T08:45:00.000-05:00

Born: Wednesday, May 4th 2011

Time: 4:55 pm

Weight: 6 lbs. 11 oz.

Length: 19.25 inches

She has a head full of blond hair!

Katherine was so excited to meet her new cousin.

Hayley was too!

Meagan and family are all doing great!

War!

2011-04-28T09:07:00.001-05:00

War has been declared on the squirrels! As of this afternoon we will have traps in place to capture the little bastards that have invaded our attic.

See ya; suckers!

I don't know what it is about this house but I think we may have played the Enchanted Movie one too many times. It seems like Giselle has invited in the wildlife to live with us.

Case Study #1: THE BIRD

Case Study #2: THE SNAKE

Case Study #3: THE SPIDER

A couple of summer's ago I got bit by the infamous brown recluse. I think he was hanging out in our attic.

Case Study #4: The Painted Ladies

Okay, fine, I invited these beauties in for the girls to raise.

Case Study #5: The Bunnies

This dude and this cronies had dug a little burrow right by the foundation of our house.

This time we have called in the professionals. We will win the battle!

Easter 2011

2011-04-25T09:45:00.000-05:00

The night before Easter started off a bit rough. Some storms came through and the high winds knocked out the power for a few hours. The girls were afraid that the Easter Bunny would not be able to make it safely. Their fears were unfounded and the Easter Bunny made it to our house just fine. Even though they had been up very late the night before they were still bright eyed and bushy tailed when it came to Easter morning. Katherine and Hayley came in our bedroom chattering away about all of the eggs and candy he had left. They were also very excited because once again he forgot to wipe his feet before entering the house. He left footprints all over the foyer.

Getting ready to hunt!

Katherine seemed to dominant the living room.

Hayley kicked butt in the foyer and stairs.

It looks like the sugar high has started.

Yep it definitely has to be the sugar. Hayley is never this perky in the morning.

We spent the morning hanging out at home and chilling. At one point I caught Hogan in the kitchen gulping. I thought he was getting ready to blow chunks so I quickly threw him outside. As I stood there watching him I realized that the gulping was not a result of him trying to eliminate something but rather he was trying to swallow something. Once I got down to investigate I realized he was trying to scarf down a big chocolate bunny; foil and all. Once I got it away from him I noticed he had eaten at least half of it; from the ears all the way down to the tummy. Surprisingly so far it does not seem to have affected him. Thank goodness.

Late afternoon we went over to Nana's house for her annual Easter meal and hunt. Here the kids are lined up and ready to take off. Ready, set...

GO!!!!

Hayley and Katherine were more than happy to collect some more eggs. A few even had money in them!

Katherine, Nana, and Hayley. They make such a cute trio!

We had a another great Easter. Tummies were full of goodies, cousins got to play, and everyone got to spend some quality time together. I can't think of a better way to celebrate!

New Experience

2011-04-25T09:03:00.000-05:00

I seem to get caught up in the airport scanners a lot recently. I think I have been scanned at least 3 or 4 times in the last couple of months. I am not really sure why. Do I look sinister? Do I look look sweet and innocent therefore I could be secretly sinister? Or is it just the times I typically fly at?

Wednesday I left for a quick jaunt to Nashville. Into the scanner I go; again. A new first though; once I came out and they read the image I was patted down. Now it was just my lower left calf but still. Why??? I was wearing normal slacks.

Maybe I moved or something and the image was blurry. I just thought if you subjected yourself to the scanner it kept the prying hands at bay.

I will say; thank goodness it was just my calf.

Face Painting

2011-04-18T09:20:00.000-05:00

Katherine has had her sights set on a Face Painting "How To" book she saw at Barnes & Noble a while back. My little entrepreneur wants to open a Face Painting stand in front of Kroger and charge $50 a piece. Oh I am supposed to help her paint (she paints the girls and I paint the boys) but she gets to keep the cash according to her business plan. My child seems to have a very good grasp on the importance of cost control and Operating Profit! Any whooo she finally got the book Saturday afternoon and immediately went hunting for prospects to practice on.

Here I am as a butterfly. After Katherine was finished with me it was my turn to paint. I love to paint. When I was in high school my friend Mallie and I used to do this for various events for fun.

Katherine started out as a cat. Then she had me add a tongue which made her look for like a dog. Once I was done with the tongue she made me add blood dripping from her mouth. Unfortunately you can't really see it in the picture. Regardless it made the sweet dog image turn into something a bit more sinister.

Just because I wasn't done playing I attacked her arm after I finished on her face.

The more I painted the more I remembered how much fun it was. I started to get spunky and got wild on the other arm. So fun.

I started to run out of real estate but wasn't done yet so I talked her into letting me paint her leg.

She ended up looking like a tattooed lady. Never the less we had a lot a fun. Great business idea Katherine; lots of fun. I will practice with you anytime you want.

Holes

2011-04-14T09:51:00.001-05:00

Preschool Conversations:

Setting: I was leaving the preschool classroom this morning after dropping Hayley off when this conversation took place.

Random little blond girl: "Hayley's mom; Hayley's mom!"
Me: "Yes" I say as I turn around and stop walking.
RLBG: "You need to sew all of the holes in your pants up!"
Me: ????? (Then the light bulb blazes)
Me: "Oh thank you for telling me. I guess my jeans do have a lot of holes."
RLBG: "Your welcome!"

I guess her mommy doesn't have a fetish for purposely holey Miss Me jeans...

Drool

2011-04-13T15:14:00.000-05:00

I have been very perplexed because I keep finding small moist spots on the carpet. MY BRAND SPANKING NEW CARPET! I finally think I figured out what the heck it is. First, they tend to pop up where ever Hogan lays. First thought; "gross dog pee on my NEW carpet!!!" After crawling around with my nose stuck to the floor I ruled that out. Thank goodness; I was panicking a bit!!!

So what is it???

I think it is dog drool. I think as part of being old he has started to drool in his sleep. All he does these days is sleep which would explain the increased "findings".

Second thought; "oh good it is just dog drool".

Third thought, "Crap is my floor going to start smelling like his breath?"

Memories from Childhood...Leaky

2011-04-12T11:24:00.000-05:00

Katherine and Hayley are really into having me recount tales of when I was a little girl. Many of their favorites revolve around the entourage of pets we had when I was growing up. Here is one of the most requested stories that never fails to garner a round of giggles.
One day my parents let me buy a cat with my own money.  To this day I have no idea why since we already had plenty of cats. Regardless I fell in love with a little black and white kitten with piercing green eyes. Leaky was everything a kitten should be; playful, cute, and cuddly. Leaky had one small issue; as his name would suggest; he leaked. Leaked; as in his butt spewed diarrhea on a regular basis.

One day after taking Leaky to the vet for shots my mom needed to stop at the store before we went home. My sisters and I opted to stay in the car while she ran inside. Unfortunately; Leaky was never very predictable as to when he would leak. This darling little kitty decided that this would be the optimal time to start.    The vile brown slime started to flow freely so I grabbed a happy meal box that we had in the car and shoved his butt into it just in time to save my lap and the floorboard from the payback gesture for torturing him at the vet.

One rule my mother had was if we stayed in the car while she ran into a store the car doors were to remain locked and the windows up. We knew better than to disobey so there we sat gagging trying to hold a moaning cat whose backside was being held captive via the "Ronald McDonald" and the "Hamburglar".

True to her word my mother's jaunt into the store was a quick one. When she returned to the car she was met by three squealing girls who thought they were going to die via olfactory poisoning, a moaning cat, and a vehicle that smelled liked it was hiding the contents of a corpse somewhere within its interior. No need to point out she was not happy.

With seemly little sympathy for her young she fired up the car and we headed home. Cat still in tow, cat's butt still stuffed in the happy meal box.

We make it home without passing out from the toxic fumes and all was fine in the end. Not surprisingly though; Leaky went to live at the farm shortly thereafter.

Ladybugs

2011-04-12T10:39:00.000-05:00

Katherine bought herself a little contraption that inflates balloons. She has been blowing them up like crazy and making ladybugs.

Yesterday she took one of her bug balloons to school to show her teacher and came home with a list of 18 kids who wanted one as well. It was so fun to see her full of excitement as she worked to fulfill her order. She was so proud that everyone loved her art as much as she did!

For me....you shouldn't have

2011-04-08T10:49:00.016-05:00

Several weeks ago I received a blogging award from Daon. As she put it there is no cash involved which is fine by me because I just like to say I won. Oh and why the award you say? Well I guess it is because I'm so darn witty and entertaining because she said so.

The rules:

1. Thank and link back to the person that awarded it.

2. Share 7 things about myself.

3. Award 10 great bloggers.
4. Contact these bloggers and tell them about the award.

So we are off....

Thanks for the award D. I am glad you find my blog to be a source of entertainment! Also a big thanks to the hubby, kiddos, and dogs who are the source and originators of my stories. Right now the kids love when I put pictures of them on the blog. I am sure in a couple of years that will change once they start actually reading the posts.

Okay 7 things about me...hmmm

1. When I was little I thought they sold dynamite at the grocery store. You know the cheese wrapped in red wax. I guess I watched too many cartoons.

2. I have an obsession with good jeans. I LOVE LOVE LOVE True Religion and Miss Me. I even bought Hayley a pair of True Religions when she was two. I could care less what they cost. Trust me I will get my money's worth out of them.

3. I can taste metal on some utensils. Sometimes more than others. I can not stand the taste. In high school I just used plastic utensils to get around the problem. My mother even made me a plastic silverware holder to put in my purse so I was never in a situation of peril. Now I just empty the silverware drawer licking forks/spoons until I find one that does not taste "metal-ly".

4. When I was little I liked my shoes to be tied really really tight. If they weren't tight enough I would kick them off while screaming "My shoes aren't tight ENOUGH!" This was typically followed by a major meltdown. Now my dear Hayley hates anything form fitting; shirts, leotards, shoes..... She will rip off whatever it is screaming "TOO TIGHT TOO TIGHT!!!" My mother says it is payback.

5. I have a really good memory. One of the first things I remember is playing on one of those sit and spins. The place we were at had monster shag carpet and all of my cousins were there playing as well. My mother said I couldn't have been more than 18 months old at this event. I also remember puking up "Big Red" a lot when I was little. I don't know why but I still don't like that stuff.

6. I used to want to live with the Brady Bunch. If Oliver got to move in with them I figured I could too.

7. I had a stomach ache last night so I took some Pepto Bismol. This morning my tongue was black. Evidently it is fairly common and the pepto bismol site says "The active ingredient in Pepto-Bismol contains bismuth. When a small amount of bismuth combines with trace amounts of sulfur in your saliva and gastrointestinal tract, a black-colored substance (bismuth sulfide) is formed. This discoloration is temporary and harmless. It can last several days after you stop taking Pepto-Bismol." Tell me how attractive does that sound.

Enough about me. I take a pass on # 3 and 4. I don't think I know that many people that blog AND no one seems to regularly update their blogs anymore. Come on guys I need some entertainment. Oh and no Mallie I am still not joining Facebook. :)

Hayley 4th Birthday Party

2011-04-04T08:52:00.000-05:00

Yesterday we finally held Hayley's 4th Birthday party with her friends. We have rescheduled this party three times and I was starting to wonder if we would get to hold it before Summer. At first Hayley thought she was already turning 5. We set the silly girl straight and told her 5 was still a year away.

Laying out the ground rules of the gym. The message seems pretty clear. One at a time guys!

Hayley on the trampoline. This trampoline is the best; so bouncy.

Katherine in the pit. She and I both love the bars and pit and spent a lot of time flipping off the bar above for a soft crash landing.

Hayley and some of her peeps; Taylor and Sara.

Mason is sooo cute and squishy. I am teaching him that my name is "Aunt Fav".

The guests. We had a great turnout. I bet these guys slept great last night. They ran for a hour and a half straight!

Hayley and Laila.

Blowing out her candles.

Happy Birthday Baby! I am so glad you loved your "nastics" party.

The Answer:

2011-04-04T08:37:00.001-05:00

The Beautiful People compliments of Marilyn Manson. Gahhhhh........

Oh Only if it Were "On Top of Old Smoky"

2011-03-30T08:46:00.000-05:00

Let's play a game.

Hayley my very eclectic music loving baby started belting this tune out of no where the other morning.

Can anyone guess the original inspiration?

Tolerance

2011-03-30T08:37:00.000-05:00

Kelsey is very tolerant with the kids.

Even when they decide to share her bedroom with her.

The look on her face can be best described as "oh please save me from the madness"!